| Dec. 10th, 2008 @ 09:32 am Christmas Classics...suck. |
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It’s holiday time again, and that means one thing around my house besides eating so many peppermint mocha cookie bars, we all put on a collective 1,562 lbs – Christmas Classics! That’s right, watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and my personal favorite—A Christmas Story, the movie about that kid, Ralphie, who wants a BB gun, but his mom and teacher keep telling him he’ll shoot his eye out. I LOVE A Christmas Story! Did you know that Ralphie is the now very-grown-up Peter Billingsley, who produced Iron Man? IMDB him. And then, there’s that other kid gets his tongue stuck to the frozen flagpole while his classmates ditch him and go back inside without him. Is it weird that the actor who played that kid in the 80’s movie turned out to be a porn star?? Did he think his tongue was THAT famous? Anyway…great story!
But what really bothers me about some of the old classics is how totally outrageous the stories are if you think about it. Like, in Rudolph. How messed up is it that his dad, Donner, makes him cover up his red nose with dirt so that Santa and the reindeer coach, Comet, will like him better? And even more messed up is how his mom just stands idly by not saying anything! I mean, the least she could say is, “Rudolph, don’t listen to your dad. He doesn’t know WHAT he is talking about. You be proud of that bulbous red nose, boy. Go on!” Then Santa and the reindeer don’t actually accept Rudolph until the selfish brutes realize Rudolph can serve them by leading them through the worst blizzard of the century! And here’s the worst part of all—Rudolph is happy about this! He actually helps them when they were so mean to him!! I’d be like, “Un-uh. I don’t think so.”
But the funniest is little Cindy Lou Who (who was not more than two). She wakes up in the middle of the night, sees the fake Santy Claus (who happens to look a LOT like the Grinch that lives just north of Whoville) stealing the Christmas tree from her living room—stealing the Christmas tree, ladies and gentlemen—and what does she do? Smiles and goes back to bed with her cup of water. This reminds me of Lois Lane not being able to realize that Clark Kent and Superman are actually the same person, except for a pair of glasses. Where’s the logic, people?
But the biggest mystery of all is how we, as readers and viewers, are so willing to suspend our disbelief for the sake of some good old-fashioned merriment, which just goes to show that it doesn’t have to be realistic, it just has to be entertaining. So sit back with that cup of hot cocoa, pile it with enough marshmallows that it overflows, and let the outrageousness begin! Tis the season…Happy Holidays!
Gaby Triana |
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